It seems that a lot of us have struggled to maintain this 45 day Loving Kindness Meditation, with the exception of one soul, who has never meditated before and has found it a breeze. They haven’t missed a day and they are loving it!

I’ve missed a day completely which means I have to go back to square one, which pleases me because I can start again utilising all the things that I’ve learned. For me, the most important thing is to do this first thing in the morning when I wake up. This way I don’t get forget, or get distracted, or have to do a ‘rush job’ before bedtime.

As most of the communication I’ve had from people has been privately through email, I’m not going to update on here. If you want to contact me please email me from this webpage or use Facebook.

It’s not over. It was always meant to be simple, not necessarily easy. I’ve no doubt we’ll all get there and create a new positive habit.

Loving kindess everyone.

I’ve never seen one of these weird looking creatures before but then I’ve never been to Madagascar, the only place in the world where they exist.

Aye-ayes are the largest nocturnal primates in the world. They may be black or brown with a very big bushy tail, much larger than their body. Their main features are enormous eyes, slender finger and huge ears. They have pointed claws on their fingers and toes apart from their opposable big toes, which enable them to dangle from tree branches. These rare creatures live in the trees of the rain forest and don’t often spend time at ground level. They are nocturnal so spend their days asleep in a sphere-like nest of leaves and twigs which is built in the fork of large tree branches. They have front teeth that never stop growing and are incredibly efficient at gnawing. It is said that they can bite their way throughout concrete and aluminium but despite the appearance of these teeth, they are not rodents.

They live on fruit and insects and their hearing is acute enough to wood boring insect larvae moving under the tree bark. They use their middle finger to fish them out to eat and the same technique to scoop the flesh out of coconuts.

In the past many of the people of Madagascar have considered Aye-ayes to be an omen of bad luck and killed them on sight. As a consequence they are now a critically endangered species despite being a protected species. Some villagers believe seeing an aye-aye means you will soon die. According to legend, the aye-aye is thought to sneak into the dwellings of nearby villagers and use its middle finger to pierce the hearts of sleeping humans.

Aye-ayes, are also at risk from humans in another way, deforestation has meant that there natural habitat is under threat, so one way or another, Aye-ayes may soon become Bye-byes.

I had an idea that I’d seen an Aye-aye before and then I remembered where – Maurice from the film ‘Madagascar’

Words about hugging can never describe the potential power of the hugging experience and perhaps we can notice more as witnesses than when we are physically involved. These are my thoughts and reflections and of course, my opinion may differ from yours.

Watching these emotional reunions I notice that although the circumstances are different, the reactions are all very similar. Surprise, shock, apparent disbelief, often tears and then hugging. Hugging doesn’t seem to be a decision but an instinct, a connection, a release. The hug makes it all right, makes it real and in that moment it seems to me that these people become one, united, connected. In Barbara Fredrickson’s new book, Love 2.0, this is described as ‘positivity resonance’  - where there is a sharing of one or more positive emotions, synchrony of behaviour and biochemistry and a motive to invest in each other’s well-being. This is the scientific definition of love and there is no doubt that love is the common thread in this video.

How do I ( and I presume you too) feel such strong emotions, attachment and concern for these people who I don’t know? Why should I feel moved to tears that a stranger is reunited with a loved one? This is the power of mirror neurones that literally mirror the emotions that we see in others. As we watch this video we are likely to mirror the feelings of love and connection and feel a surge of oxytocin ‘the love hormone’ in our bodies. We may smile when they smile, cry or feel like crying when they do and we share their experience, although to a lesser extent. We may each view this film differently and depending on our perception, our experience may be different. For instance, you may feel uplifted and inspired, you may feel happy and optimistic, or you might feel a little sad if this reminded you of people that you love who are also absent.

We may also benefit by another ‘happy chemical’ dopamine. We get surges of dopamine when we anticipate that something will happen  but can’t be completely certain that it will. As we watch the video we soon recognise the theme and guess that there will be another reunion but we don’t know the circumstances in which that will occur. Each time we witness another example we are rewarded with a surge of dopamine. This biochemical reward only lasts for a fleeting moment and it may be the cause of you watching this video again or searching for a similar one somewhere else. It may also explain why you spend more time than you should on the internet or shopping!

Although we can empathise and mirror the emotional reaction of these real people our brains react in exactly the same way when we watch a fictional film or read a story in a book. Your brain doesn’t differentiate between ‘real’ or ‘imagined’. Anyone who has cried during Bambi, or Love Story will know on one level that it’s pretend (Bambi is really a collection of brush strokes !) but the emotional response is the same as if this was true.

Based on this basic understanding of how our brain works, I choose not to watch or read depressing and disturbing items and I gave up reading newspapers almost 2 years ago. I think it was the best decision I have ever made.

It’s the sort of mystery that would fox Miss Marple, Sherlock Holmes and Poirot even if they joined forces and worked together.

Who popped the ducky?

It only seems like yesterday that we had the lovely happy story of the happy 16 metre high inflatable duck as it arrive to excited crowds in Hong Kong.  HERE

We even had this video from a roving Laughter Buddy reporter .

Now the fun has been deflated, quite literally.

Was it an accident? Conspiracy theories abound. Is this ‘fowl’ play? Was it an attempted ab-duck-tion ? Can the case be quaked? Groan !!

The happy duck has been reduced to a sad puddle of yellow plastic and is alas, no more.

Apparently on Tuesday night, this appeared on Facebook – “Special announcement: attention, duck fans! The rubber duck needs some rest, and to undergo a quick body check. The rubber duck will resume its ‘duck’ shape in no time.”

Many people didn’t buy this excuse and speculative blogs, posts and tweets soon spread around the world.

The people of Hong Kong are understandably upset after all it’s not every day that a 40 ft high duck sails into harbour. Funnily enough, I think that it will gain almost as much attention in it’s deplapitated state as it did before and I’m quite sure that someone is already constructing a giant puncture repair kit.

Below is a video of a local news report. It’s worth watching to the end (and putting up with advert) in order to see one of Hong Kong’s other large inflatable ‘works of art’. Some people might say it’s just a pile of …

Who is your favourite character in a book?

Whatever you reply will say a lot about you and your own character, according to psychologists. They have discovered that whenever we read a book we tend to subconsciously adopt their behaviours, thoughts and beliefs and react to the fictional situations as if we were the person we are reading about.

Researchers from Ohio State University conducted 6 different experiments on 500 participants and found that it was common to get involved in ‘expereince-taking’, and temporarily behave and think more like the character than their normal self. What the reader read could affect their behaviour for several days afterwards and this was more extreme if the book character experienced something the reader had encountered in real life.

Psychologists have discovered that while reading a book or story, people are prone to subconsciously adopt their behavior, thoughts, beliefs and internal responses to that of fictional characters as if they were their own.

Experts have dubbed this subconscious phenomenon ‘experience-taking,’ where people actually change their own behaviors and thoughts to match those of a fictional character that they can identify with.

Researcher from the Ohio State University conducted a series of six different experiments on about 500 participants, reporting in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, found that in the right situations, ‘experience-taking,’ may lead to temporary real world changes in the lives of readers.

They found that stories written in the first-person can temporarily transform the way readers view the world, themselves and other social groups. It was found that people in the study would change their views and perceptions about such subjects as homosexuality if they affected the character that they felt associated with but this was influenced by whereabouts in the story the information was given.

Reading was found to be much different to watching a film which is more explicit in showing what is going on and requires less imagination than reading. Readers didn’t appear to be aware of what was happening to them as it is an unconscious process.

Not everyone is familiar with the lucky cat (maneki-neko) which originated in Japan but are seen throughout the Far East.

I bought one recently and I have to say I’m rather fond of it as it sits on my desk and cheerfully waves. It runs on a battery and makes the same relaxing ticking noise as a clock.

These cats are said to bring good luck to the owners and are known as lucky cats, money cats, happy cats or fortune cats and they typically move their right or left paw up and down. In  the Western world we see as waving but in the East this is in fact the motion of beckoning. They are usually displayed in the foyer of restaurants or shop windows, encouraging customers to come in.

My cat is made of plastic and gold in colour (good luck money) but they are traditionally white (good luck general) or black (good luck health). Traditionally, the lucky cat holds a gold coin and wears a red neck scarf with a gold bell. Both red and gold are said to be lucky in Asian cultures.

The story behind this tradition goes like this -

In early 17th century Japan in a village near Edo (now called Tokyo) there was a temple. The temple priest had very little food but he took in stray white cat and called it Tama. As things got worse the priest told the cat it should leave and look after itself as it would be better off.

The cat let the temple but only went a little way and sat at the roadside preening himself. Soon a rainstorm erupted and a samurai Lord and his men stopped to shelter under a tree. The samurai (Lord Ii Naotaka of HikoneNa) saw the cat’s paw raised and believed that the cat was beckoning him. He and his men left the shelter of the tree and walked towards Tama the cat and as they did so, the tree was struck by lightening. The group believed that their lives had been saved and they followed the cat back to the temple where they met the priest. As an act of gratitude Lord Ii became a patron of the the temple which then prospered and the priest was able to have sufficient food and look after himself. After Tama died he was given a place of honour in the temple cemetery and a beckoning cat statue was created in his memory. The story of Tama spread and people began to place figurines of beckoning cats in their homes, shops and businesses in the hope that it would bring them good luck and prosperity too. Over time, other countries such as China have joined in the practice and today lucky cats are a common sight.

Hello Kiity is a modern character created in Japan and is so popular it can be found adorning thousands of products from T-shirts to vacuum cleaners, toasters, coffee-makers, computers and mobile phones that all come in lurid Kitty-pink. Some people believe that Hello Kitty was inspired by maneki neko although the background story says that Hello Kitty was born in a London suburb.

Fans have even been known to plan a Hello Kitty themed wedding !

If I show this inspiring image on Facebook it will be removed. Please use this link HERE to see what Facebook finds offensive – I’m 100% sure you will be inspired not offended.

This intricate tattoo is on the chest of a woman who has had a double mastectomy and is a beautiful solution to disguise the scars from this life saving operation. Mastectomy often results in women feeling less feminine and desirable but perhaps this kind of a tattoo is an alternative to reconstructive surgery. Unfortunately this image has been removed from Facebook multiple times on the basis that it contravenes Facebook rules on nudity. Even so, the image has been shared over 100,000 times.

Angelina Jolie has recently revealed that she has undergone a double mastectomy to reduce her chances of getting breast cancer. After discovering that she had an 87% risk of breast cancer and a 50% risk of ovarian cancer she decided to opt for the radical operation. She says that her risk has now been reduced to under 5%.

Angelina’s mother died at age 56, a decade after discovering that she had cancer.

One in five women who are diagnosed with breast cancer have a family history of the disease. if any of your first degree relatives (siblings, parents, aunty/uncle ) have breast cancer then the chances of you getting it are significantly increased.

Genes BRCA1 and BRCA2 are strongly linked with breast cancer and can be detected with genetic tests Women carrying the BRCA1 mutation have up to a 65% chance of developing breast cancer by the time they are 70.

Women everywhere are grateful for Angelina’s generosity in sharing her story so publicly and she will be an inspiration for any woman who has to face the same choice. She said ”I want to encourage every woman, especially if you have a family history of breast or ovarian cancer, to seek out the information and medical experts who can help you through this aspect of your life, and to make your own informed choices.”

This procedure has improved over the years and reconstructive surgery has now advanced so far that the detrimental cosmetic effect of implant surgery is dramatically minimised.

Any woman with a family history of breast or ovarian cancer should see her doctor, who may refer her to one of the NHS’s 35 regional genetic testing centres around the UK. A simple blood test will show whether BRCA1 or BRCA2 have been inherited. Before the test is given women will have genetic counselling to explain the procedure and implications.

If you think this story and photo should be allowed on Facebook, please leave a comment or LIKE the article. Thank you.

Thank you to Ben for the over dinner conversation about Jelly Babies which revealed that they had a long and interesting history.

Jelly Babies were first launched in 1918 to mark the end of World War I and they were called ‘Peace Babies’. They continued to be produced but during the Second World War food shortages mean that their production was suspended. Then in 1953 they were relaunched as “Jelly Babies’ as we know them but you may not know that each baby has an individual name and shape, colour and flavour!

Allow me to introduce you -

Brilliant – red and tastes of strawberry

Bubbles – yellow and tastes of lemon

Bonny – pink and tastes of raspberry

Boofuls -green and tastes of lime

Bigbeart – purple and tastes of blackcurrant

Bumper – orange and tastes of orange

The new names and shapes were introduced in 1989.

In 1963 George Harrison from the Beatles, let it be known that he liked Jelly Babies. From then onwards the band was pelted with them but worse was to come when they went to USA as Jelly Babies were substituted with Jelly Beans. Whether you are struck by a fast moving Jelly Bean or Jelly Baby, they both hurt !

Jelly Babies were voted 6th most popular sweet in 2009. The mot popular flavour (decided by blindfold tests) are strawberry, lime, blackcurrant, lemon, raspberry and lastly orange.

Some people feel screamish about eating Jelly Babies, whilst others love to bite off their heads. Perhaps nothing is as cruel as the ‘screaming Jelly Baby’ experiments though?

Well, I did say it would be simple but not easy.

Some of you have had problems with lack of concentration, some with lack of time.

I’m afraid that I’ve failed to do the guided meditation twice this week. I’m on holiday and almost always in company. Although I’ve not been able to listen to the guided meditation I have tried to do it from memory in my mind. I’ve found this too difficult to achieve without my mind straying off subject but I think it’s better than nothing and I’ve still found it relaxing.

I’m going to continue towards the 45 day mark on the basis that I can extend this date by however long I like.

I hope that you are all going to continue. I’ve had feedback from a few of you and it sounds as though most of us are at the same stage – beginners.

Here is the link to Barbara Fredrickson’s Page where there are other guided meditations that you may like to try.

Meditations

I’ll post another update next week. Sorry that I can’t always reply to everyone personally straight away. I try to answer your emails within 48 hours but sometimes (like on holiday) it’s not always possible.

Happy meditating.

Loving Kindness